The Waiting Game

I feel like all life consists of these days is to hurry up and wait.  Not only for this whole TTC thing, but it's the same with work, relationships, everything.  Right now, we wait for a BFP - hopefully sooner than later.  I waited to get pregnant...  I waited to have the u/s appointment...  I waited for a heartbeat...  I waited to hear if everything was OK with the baby...  I waited for my D&C...  I waited to stop crying and for the hurt to stop...  I waited for AF to show...  I waited til we could start trying again...  Now...  I wait...  Just to start the waiting game all over again.

Now that we've somewhat jumped on the baby making train, it has calmed my nerves a bit (but I am still waiting).  I do, again, feel like I can really move forward with this entire process.  I know I say that about everything, but I do believe with each "step" that I am waiting for, it heals my heart a little more.  It's still hard to see people announcing pregnancies, I'm not going to lie...  It stings - but with each sting it gets easier and easier to cope with and my husband is always reminding me that it will soon be my turn.  I am so happy to have him as my support and my rock.

Since AF showed her ugly face August 7th, we haven't been trying, but we haven't been preventing either.  Well, I shouldn't say that we're not trying, because in the end we are.  It's just hard to put the bold print on it since I am not temping or charting or keeping any sort of track for when I ovulate.  I know AF will be all over the place and inconsistent for a few months, so we have decided to do what we do best and see what happens.  I know once I am on a regular cycle, this whole "trying" thing will be a lot easier to pin-point.  As for right now, we're just going with the flow and we're going to see what happens. 

I guess technically, right now, I am waiting in the 2 week window to see what happens.  I'm not sure when I will test...  I don't know what a good time to test will be since AF will be irregular for a bit, but I guess this is me trying as hard as I can to be patient and stress free.  Maybe if I keep telling myself this, I'll believe it eventually.  These are what the Dr.'s orders were, so I'm listening and trying to stay as sane as I possibly can.