Confession

Here goes nothing and I am so over the moon to be writing about this.  It makes me jump for joy on the inside.  Matt and I are EXPECTING!!!  After everything that we have been through, it's finally happening!  We are so overjoyed and cannot wait for our future with our addition.

I have been very hesitant on posting anything, but I made sure to make this a private online journal, until we want to announce this fantastic news to the world.

Since out miscarriage in June, my body hadn't been regular and my doctor had to prescribe me Provera, which is a medicine to jump start me period.

It started on October 25th, when we got our positive home pregnancy test.  It was dark and the double lines were so there.  No squinting or anything.  I was getting ready for work, as I do every morning, and decided that I would take a test.  I "thought" my period was due that previous Thursday (if I were back on track) and here we were on Tuesday and it was still a no show.  I didn't know if I was technically late, but thought I'd test anyway.  I took it and then set it on the back of the toilet and proceeded to finish getting ready.  About 10 minutes had passed and I thought I'd give it a look.  There it was, before my eyes, 2 lines!!  I was overjoyed with excitement and I'm pretty sure my stomach jumped into my throat.  I had to sit on the edge of the tub to take it all in.  When I finally calmed down, I went into the bedroom where Matt was still sleeping and stuck the test in front of his face.  I said, "Can you see what this says?"  It took him a minute and he said, "Yeah, I did!!"  As he proceeded to give me a high five, followed by a kiss.  It was great and we were so happy.

I had a doctor's appointment the Wednesday before we left for Aruba.  This was to confirm the pregnancy and check my progesterone levels since they were pretty low last time.  Thursday, I got the call that they were at 25.7 and the nurse said that I had "beautiful numbers."  That was so exciteing to hear - like music to my ears.

It was very hard to keep this secret.  Being pregnant and not announcing it takes so much energy out of you.  We got our positive test on Tuesday and we left for Aruba that following Saturday.  Matt and I had a very hard time covering up that I wasn't drinking.  We used every excuse under the sun and made up as many fake drinks as we could.  The hardest part, for me, was the staying up part.  Everyone wanted to party so late and I couldn't hang.  I was exhausted and could only make it until 1, at the latest.  It was so nice to return home and get in bed at a normal time and not have to worry about all this fake partying.  Whooo, that'll drain you!

We got back in town on Saturday, November 5th and our 1st ultasound was scheduled for Friday, November 11th.  I was very nervous, given previous situations, but I kept telling myself "this pregnancy is different and not the same as the last.  There are no reasons that I shouldn't be positive.  This baby should get every chance is the world, just as the last one did."  We went and saw the ultrasound tech and baby was in there!!  It was a beautiful sight to see and it looked so perfect!  It's little heart was flickering and we got a great report.  Last time the heartbeat was slower than what they like to see, but this baby had a perfect heartrate of 120!!!  She said she had no bad news and sent us on our way with 4 pictures of our sweet pea.  Although, I thought I was 7 weeks, the baby was measuring 6w1d.  She said it was completely fine, as they like no more than a 7 day window.  We felt great about the appointment and couldn't wait until November 28th - our next ultrasound.

Here's our little one at 6w1d:

I know it doesn't look like much, but this little one has already filled our hearts with so much joy and love.